Getting To Know Fear
Fear is an interesting emotion; it can arise from a legitimate situation or a perceived threat. This makes fear a very complex emotion. In many ways, fear acts like an internal alarm system. The brain sends signals to the body, prompting automatic reactions. Most people are familiar with the fight-or-flight response, but there are also two other reactions: freeze and fawn.
Fear is highly individualized. Some people seek it out—watching horror movies or chasing adrenaline through thrill-seeking activities. Others, like me, prefer to avoid it. I don’t even enjoy watching others engage in stunts, and even just seeing a trailer for a horror film can give me nightmares. This is where curiosity and noticing come into play.
When we notice a threat, real or imagined, our body responds automatically: we might start to sweat, our hands may feel clammy, our heart races, and our breathing becomes shallow. For some, these sensations can trigger an anxiety or panic attack. Fear, when unchecked, can also manifest into phobias or generalized anxiety. It can stem from past experiences, trauma, or the fear of losing control.
How to Cope with Fear
This is where noticing becomes a valuable tool. I once had friends who loved horror movies. Thinking I could handle it, I joined them to watch Thinner by Stephen King. That decision led to months of nightmares. I realized that scary movies are not for me. The emotional rollercoaster and lingering effects weren’t worth it. Through noticing, I also discovered that haunted houses and jump scares are not my thing—I hate being scared.
Coping with fear is a challenge. I try my best to remind myself to breathe and, if a situation is too overwhelming, I give myself permission to leave. Those who experience anxiety, panic, or PTSD might be more sensitive to fear, making it even more crucial to develop coping strategies.
Interestingly, I’ve noticed that when a real threat arises, my body responds in different ways. If the threat involves someone I love, I am ready to fight. If the threat is directed at me, I have sometimes found myself fawning—a response shaped by past experiences. One thing I know for sure: the more I focus on fear, the bigger it becomes.
Preparing for Fear Without Letting It Take Over
Just like we prepare for tornadoes in the Midwest—having a safety kit, knowing where to take shelter, and staying weather-aware—we can also prepare for fear in healthy ways. The key is balance. Refreshing the radar every two minutes during a storm crosses into obsession, just as avoiding driving all winter might be letting fear take control. Preparation is empowering, but when fear dictates our actions entirely, it becomes limiting.
Here are some ways to prepare for fear without letting it rule your life:
Key notes
- Have a Fear Plan
Just like an emergency plan for severe weather, you can create a plan for situations that trigger fear. Ask yourself:- What is my fear telling me?
- What steps can I take to feel safer?
- Who can I reach out to for support?
- What is within my control, and what is not?
- Ground Yourself in Reality
Fear thrives in uncertainty. If you find yourself caught in a spiral of what-ifs, try grounding techniques:- Five Senses Check-in: Name five things you see, four things you touch, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste.
- Fact vs. Fiction: Ask yourself, “What are the actual facts, and what is my fear assuming?”
- Take Incremental Steps
If fear is stopping you from doing something, break it down into small, manageable steps. For example:- If driving in winter terrifies you, start by taking short, local drives on clear days and gradually build your confidence.
- If social anxiety keeps you from attending events, start with brief interactions and build from there.
- Set Boundaries with Fear
It’s okay to acknowledge fear, but it doesn’t have to dictate your choices. Think of it as setting a boundary:- Healthy Fear: “I won’t drive in an ice storm because it’s unsafe.”
- Fear Taking Over: “I won’t drive at all this winter because something bad might happen.”
- Practice Self-Compassion
Fear isn’t weakness—it’s a natural response. Instead of judging yourself for being afraid, try saying:- “It’s okay to feel this way.”
- “Fear is trying to protect me, but I am safe.”
- “I can make choices that support both my safety and my growth.”
By preparing for fear the same way we prepare for storms—thoughtfully, without obsession—we can navigate life’s uncertainties with more confidence and resilience.
Tune in tomorrow as I share more of my personal walk with fear..